“Seeing” Gratitude in Everyday’s life.

I like to observe, I like to space out. My favorite thing to do is to sit and space out in front of some beautiful views. When I could travel oft, I usually spent 3 to 4 hours sitting in front of mountain views and the ocean - doing nothing. Just staying there, and enjoying. However, not all can’t easily experience these luxurious moments every day, unless you are a millionaire. Nowadays, I tend to spend a lot of time in cafes, and parks.

I live in an area that has a few parks around, the environmental is friendly in general, even towards pets. And sure, there are a lot of tiny pretty cafes located around but I like to grab a cup of cacao or tea (because I am not a coffee person, though I drink coffee very occasionally), whilst sitting by the park or in the cafe, and seeing what people are doing, how dogs play, how lights hit the foliage of the surrounding trees. Oh! Some people are walking their dogs. Some are jogging. Some are playing frisbee.

My desire is to keep seeing this beautiful world

This year one midnight at the end of April, me and Al had a big fight. I tried to sleep in, but at some point I started to feel there was a pressure coming to my eyes and that pain went all the way to the head. I felt dizzy and wanted to throw up.

Next day, I went to a hospital, I found out that “ Wow! I might lose my vision if I caught it a bit later” I have Angle-closure issues and might result in glaucoma”

Even though I immediately had surgery, this eye condition is something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life.

I can run, but no marathons.

I can dive, but it’ll have to be just snorkeling.

I can do yoga, but those inversions? I’ll skip them if I can.

I need to keep myself in well-lit environments as much as possible. Places like movie theaters or light shows with dim lighting aren’t really for me anymore.

I have to stay calm (though that might be difficult as long as I'm with Alex). I practice deep breathing every day.

I asked the doctor, “Will I need another surgery in the future?”

He said, “Yes, you’re still young, so we’ll try to delay it as long as we can.”

I went through a period of silence, feeling overwhelmed by sadness. Losing my sight would mean relying heavily on others for my daily life, and forget about those simple pleasures like traveling, picnicking, or enjoying a cup of coffee while taking in the beauty around me.

Plus, thinking about how this will impact my work and life just adds to the stress.

So, what should I do? The answer is: not much.

During my five years in Mexico, the most important lesson I’ve learned is that nothing will improve if you’re still in denial. I can’t control what’s happened to me, but I can decide how to take care of myself. Although I still go through tough moments, I’ve noticed they’re getting shorter. That’s the sign of growth, isn’t it? It’s what people often refer to as "a shift in perspective."

So now, I’ve started writing down three things I’m grateful for each day.

1. I’m glad I caught my eye condition before it got worse

2. I am still able to live a normal life. Just can’t be too intense.

3. My decision to collect the beautiful moments in life, in any possible format that I can. I’ve started doing photography and writing. And that’s something I am curious about and finding passion in. It’s always wonderful to stumble upon new hobbies.

In short, I’m very grateful that I had the chance to address the issue before it spiraled out of control.

So, I’ve started learning photography, writing, eating healthier, and doing things I enjoy, all while keeping a positive outlook.

I’ll probably add exercise to the mix in the future! ( For now, I’m not ready yet ! )

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Holi! This is Anita. I am exploring life with my big passion and curiosity.

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Btw, I am also a Chinese Mandarin Teacher.

You are not alone studying Chinese.

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